“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” ― Harvey Fierstein
People with good self-esteem know how to acknowledge that they’re not perfect, and recognize that they too have faults. That in every flaw, it makes them who they are, and they totally accept this with open arms, mind, and heart. Regardless of all the imperfection, they still feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their capabilities, abilities, talents, strengths, and weaknesses.
Most people get confused about what self-esteem means and think that it’s just all about your looks, how popular you are, or how many friends you have. Some people believe that to have good self-esteem, you need to accomplish something massive in life, the greatest misconception of it all.
However, self-esteem simply means acknowledging yourself for who you are, what you do, your faults, shortcomings, and all the little tidbits that make you, you.
The low self-esteem phase beats you up tremendously. It’s a cycle of feeling bad about oneself, stressing obsessively about a mistake, allowing yourself to believe that you are simply not good enough. The cycle repeats unless you break it! Although they often thought of low self-esteem to be a character trait such as humility, it’s absolutely untrue!
Low self-esteem has damaging effects on everything, including yourself, your career, and your relationships with the people around you. It can leave you insecure, uninspired, unmotivated, and uncertain.
What are the symptoms of low self-esteem?
- Negative self-perception
- Lack of boundaries
- Critical/Abusive internal dialogue
- Difficulty making your own choices
- You don’t trust your own opinion
- Feeling guilty for your everyday action
- Worry what others might think of you
- Follow along with what others say, wearing, or going
- Difficulty speaking up your own needs, feelings, and wants
So, don’t drag yourself down and beat yourself up. Find a way to boost your self-esteem and build your confidence to be the best you can be.
Here are some top tips to help you improve your self-esteem:
1.Accept failure as it is, it’s part of growth.
Failure is part of life. When you fail, it only means you have the chance to learn and grow. Elevate your perspective and shift your thinking that failure is an opportunity to learn more, to know more.
2. Find a new hobby or learn a new skill.
Learning something new helps cultivate your skills while gaining new experiences. There’s a sense of delight when we take on a new hobby, especially the ones that correspond with your talents and interests. It enhances your capabilities and broadens your mind, therefore, adds to your self-worth.
3. Restore your integrity.
Know what you believe in, your core values, and make sure you don’t compromise it no matter what. Ensure that you live by your character, it is essential for your mental growth.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Always, do you!
Comparing yourself to others is lethal to your self-esteem, so don’t! Do not base your life by how others live theirs, it’s destructive to your self-worth. Living in comparison will never match-up! Why? Because we keep focusing on what we lack, what we don’t have, what we can’t do, and the list just goes on. So, refrain from falling into this pit of despair and change the way you view yourself. Instead, aim your attention on being a better you and focus on your goals.
5. Accept who you are.
Each of us is different in our own way, we are all unique, we have different talents, traits, and capabilities. First, to be able to love yourself, you must accept yourself. Embrace who you are, define your strengths and accept your weakness. Be in your element and share it with the world because you are extraordinary, we all are!
6. Draw a line in the sand.
Having boundaries isn’t just saying no to an invitation or an offer, it’s more than that. Establishing how you want to be treated and how people should communicate with you is essential to your self-worth. By drawing the line in a relationship, is a decision that serves you regardless of what others think. Sure, we all have over-assertive family members or friends that can weigh heavily on our mental state whenever we are around them. Don’t let them make you feel inferior, let them know where your lines are drawn.
7. Let negative people go.
The unparalleled way to find and improve your self-esteem is to surround yourself with confident, positive, and supportive people who appreciate, respect, and value you. If there are people in your life who like to put you down and have a negative aura around you, be gentle with yourself, and let them go. They don’t deserve a spot in your life.
8. Surround yourself with a supportive squad.
Let’s lift each other up because we’ve all been there before, so don’t be a downer! Each one of us has experienced an awful day or two, so be the glare to someone’s melancholy. Boost each other up and fix each other’s crowns.
9. Nobody’s perfect.
Perfectionism is a destructive habit. So, don’t be! Do not be crippled from taking action just because you are afraid that you can’t match the standard. This is a sure-fire downturn to your self-esteem! Always remember that perfection is an unrealistic goal because reality can clash with your expectations. However, go all out to be the best version of yourself and don’t use this excuse to slack off, there’s something called good enough. Rather than never getting things done!
10. Develop an inner dialogue and be kind to yourself.
This may seem crazy, but no, it’s not! We all have an inner critic deep within us, and we need to learn how to handle and take over the voice of our own inner critic. Inner talk is substantial because nobody knows you better than you, and it’s also good to remind yourself of your strengths and values.
When you finally like yourself more, when you are at peace with who you are, then you become less destitute, and your life becomes lighter and calmer. Don’t fall into the trap of self-sabotaging your self-esteem and self-confidence, motivate yourself to not succumb to uncertainty.
Everything takes time, it’s a process, and sure it won’t happen overnight but, these things will surely help you get started and keep moving forward. When you boost your self-esteem and improve your self-confidence, you can handle tough times ahead. You’ll be happier.